


trouble

by falterth



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bad Weather, Especially where Itachi is involved, Gen, It could be the bad kind of dramatic, Itachi comes back, On another note: I guess this thing is a little dramatic, Sasuke just really loves Itachi, canon-divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 08:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12207534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falterth/pseuds/falterth
Summary: Sasuke looks behind him at Naruto and Sakura, and at the whole village, and then he turns his back and walks away.He does not apologize.





	trouble

**Author's Note:**

> idk what to put in these notes, honestly. i'm getting so sloppy with these things that i 10/10 will end up spouting discourse about how badly the naruto manga treated its characters GOD DAMNIT
> 
> one kudos is approximately equal to the value of one lentil. please donate

_ 1 _

 

Sasuke sees Itachi behind his family's home. He tells himself to get a grip and to _wake up, for the gods' sake,_ but he can't. He stays frozen in the trees, silent, watching, until Itachi inevitably looks up at him and then whatever steel Sasuke has been gathering in himself freezes and shatters because Itachi, in that moment, looks broken and lost and it's all Sasuke can do to stop himself from crying.

He does, however, come down from the trees quietly and hug his brother, because at the heart of it all he really wants to see Itachi again, even as the hate smolders and—Sasuke suspects that this is the case—dies away.

_Why are you here?_ Sasuke asks him, and Itachi shakes his head.

Sasuke does not press him further, just takes his brother—his _brother,_ who he's tried so hard to hate all this time and will only let himself admit in this moment that maybe he can forgive Itachi, after all—by the hand and leads him to the Uchiha compound.

Itachi is silent but wary, Sasuke notices, and even though the horrible empty acid that he has known for so long is churning in his gut again, he ignores it in favor of staring at Itachi wondrously. Sasuke opens his mouth and he can feel his dry lips cracking slightly—and then he forgets the question that had sat so patiently on his tongue.

Before Sasuke falls asleep that night, he feels a shiver run down his spine and there is a second in which he gives pause to think that he is doing something very, very wrong. Then, there is nothing; he has let himself go into the land of milk and honey.

 

_ 2 _

 

Sasuke wakes up the next day with a cold feeling in his chest. The light in the room is grey and cold and humid, and it chokes him. He feels that something that has always been a constant has been dislodged and then he _remembers_ who the sleeping form next to him is, and has to hold himself back lest he wake his brother.

Sasuke stands up and walks, as quietly as he can, out onto the porch of the room and stares at the forest. He can't see far for the mist, but it is something to look at while he distracts himself from other things.

For example, what Naruto will say if he finds out about who is staying here. What Sakura will say if she finds out the man who had been the subject of a burning hatred for _years_ was sleeping peacefully under Sasuke's roof now. What the whole village will say, really, but most of all Sasuke is concerned that they will arrest Itachi. 

That they will take his brother away from him. That they will rekindle the hatred that had denied and chained down his freedom.

The fog eventually sends a chill through his bones; his robes are thin and loose. He knows that it will not be much better on the inside of the room because he has left every single door wide open, but he turns to face the room anyway and readies himself to go inside.

_Sasuke,_ Itachi whispers. Sasuke goes still for a moment and then forces himself to relax. He will not work himself up in front of his brother.

_Yes?_ Sasuke answers him. The thick air eats up his words and leaves him gasping for breath and he turns back around so that Itachi can't see his face.

(He isn't sure whether he really is grasping for air so desperately or if he's grasping for something—someone—else. Either way, the atmosphere both inside and outside feels exactly the same and he isn't quite ready to go back inside so he will stay on the porch and think. He will stay with his back turned to the sliding doors.)

_Any . . . food?_

Sasuke can barely hear Itachi this time, but he does manage to catch a few bits out of sheer willpower.

_Where it always used to be_ , he says, softly as ever. Itachi's bare feet are but a whisper on the polished wooden floors (Sasuke would know; he shines them himself when things look bad) and they fade quickly.

All at once, Sasuke _really_ has to fight for his breath this time, and he doubles over in what he perceives to be pain but what is really panic. Itachi has _killed_ his entire _family_ and he is there under Sasuke's roof, eating out of his kitchen, and Sasuke is . . . is glad to have him.

When Itachi comes back, smelling faintly of bread but mostly of mud and dirt, Sasuke pulls him into another embrace and tells him to go shower. Itachi leaves again and Sasuke goes into town to do his shopping.

He passes by Naruto briefly—has to entertain his dear friend even while a blanket of nervousness settles on his head and shoulders and threatens to cover his face—and talks to him briefly, paper bags feeling like heavy stones in his hands. He is glad (too glad) to be finished and must restrain himself from sprinting all the way back home, sprinting to Itachi and to the dark floors and the sliding doors.

He puts the groceries away quietly. Everything is quiet in this house, now, save for the thoughts that crowd at the edge of Sasuke's conscience at all times. He can never _think_ anymore because of the white noise that fills his mind, the static that eats away at his rational thought.

_Itachi looks cleaner now,_ Sasuke notices in an attempt to break away from the crackling in his head, _and a little happier._

_Sasuke. Do you . . . do you resent me?_ Itachi asks.

His voice is hardly a whisper but Sasuke hears it clearly and has to take three, four, five deep breaths before he trusts himself to speak without stumbling over his words.

_I don't know. I don't think so. It's confusing._ He has never felt so vulnerable in front of his brother before. He has never been able to share so much so directly; it feels liberating, somehow, and it feels like he has been missing out.

 

_ 3 _

 

Sasuke sees shapes in the corner of his vision. They look like his family and he tells himself that Itachi being here has nothing to do with it.

 

_ 4 _

 

Sakura confronts him the next day to tell him that he hasn't been showing up to his training with the rest of Team Seven.

_I know,_ he tells her, and something in her expression shifts. It is as cold, as _grey_ as the weather that surrounds him and Sasuke recoils from her. He recoils with his whole body and he can see a stricken look flash across Sakura's face—but then, as quickly as it comes, it is gone. Sasuke wonders if his mind is playing tricks on him.

_Show up tomorrow. It was bad enough when you skipped out on us for three years. Don't fuck this up for anyone._ She walks away and Sasuke feels the sword she has driven forward so acutely in his chest that he really reaches up and feels around for anything there to explain the hurt that has lodged itself so deeply inside.

Sakura had been so friendly to him just days before; Sasuke doesn't understand why she turns her back on him so easily now. He doesn't understand why she would bring up his disappearance after months of him being back in the village.

He goes back home and dusts off a few corners in the house where cobwebs have built up. Better to go through the trouble and keep things clean every day than to have to deal with it at a later point.

Sasuke sits in the room (the room he had played in as a child, but he doesn't remember that so well) with Itachi and talks with him. He asks about what Itachi has been up to in the last few years and although most of his questions are  gracefully—almost artfully—deflected, he enjoys the conversation because it breaks the hold the static has on his head.

_Itachi? Why are you staying, when it's so risky for you? Not—not that I want you to go . . ._ Sasuke revels in the openness he can show his brother now, so unlike the way it was when they were children, and so heartbreakingly familiar that it keeps him up at night because he just has to wonder why he recognizes it.

_I have nowhere else to go._ Itachi smiles at him, and Sasuke realizes that Itachi's smiles are beautiful. Not as beautiful as Naruto's, or even Sakura's, but they are fragile and soft in their own way and Sasuke has never been prouder to have Itachi as family.

 

_ 5 _

 

He does show up for training the next day, and the weather is still abysmally cold and abysmally humid. Sasuke spars with Naruto for a good two hours and then after training, they go to eat ramen and Sasuke leads himself to believe that everything is normal again and that Naruto, at least, has no ill feelings toward him.

_I haven't seen much of you lately. Sakura's been kind of angry—I think she's been arguing with Kakashi about you. It's not good for her,_ Naruto comments, and Sasuke shrugs with practiced indifference. Inside, he buries panic under layers of apathy. It is what he knows; it is what he lives and breathes.

He is relieved, though, that perhaps Sakura's cold snap had been due to stress over Kakashi and that maybe it is not his fault after all.

_It's been busy at home. I've been doing a lot of cleaning—the house is bigger than I thought, you know? There's . . . a lot of empty space,_ Sasuke tells him in response, and Naruto smiles.

_I could help you. You shouldn't have to do all this by yourself. I can imagine that a shit ton of dust has built up since, well . . ._

Sasuke refuses the offer in the end but accepts Naruto's offer to accompany him home. He is sure Itachi will sense Naruto's presence and hide himself before they arrive. It turns out that Itachi would not have needed to hide, after all, because the two of them stop just shy of the gate leading into the main courtyard and—

What? _And_ what?

Sasuke is unsure of himself; Naruto looks even more so, and Sasuke can already feel the insistent buzz, the painful acrid nagging at the back of his head, ready to scatter his thoughts as soon as he slips up even a little.

He is startled out of his own mind when Naruto's hand lifts carefully (so, so carefully) to cup Sasuke's cheek. He is startled further when Naruto leans forward and slowly (so slow that Sasuke feels like screaming) brushes his lips against Sasuke's.

They are both still, for a moment, and then Naruto steps back. Sasuke's eyes are wide and his face is hot. The buzz has subsided for the time being.

Neither of them go into Sasuke's home that day.

 

_ 6 _

 

Itachi tells Sasuke today. It is the first time he has recounted it all since it happened and he has to brace himself to tell it, has to brace himself for— _anything,_ really.

_I'm sorry, Sasuke. There's no excuse for what I did, I just . . . I don't want to explain it, but I have to, don't I?_  
  
_That's what I thought._

_You know that I joined ANBU and made captain at an early age. It was good and Father was proud of me, but every time I saw him turn away from you and give me praise instead, it_ hurt ** _._ ** _It hurt because you always tried so hard and you just—you were happy, and you wanted to please everyone, and they took it away from you._

_ANBU was stressful, too. I guess it's because I was only thirteen, and I think now that children shouldn't have to do that anymore . . . but I'm getting off topic. I hated killing people, Sasuke, believe me. I just wanted Konoha to be peaceful for once. But I didn't say anything about it. I_ never _said anything. I never smiled, or laughed, or cried, and the only thing I wanted to do was play with you when you asked me to._

_I loved you so much and it hurt when you wanted to spend time with me and I was called out to another mission, or Father wanted to speak with me._

_I think I started hating our family then. I hated them so much but I never did anything because that is not the kind of person I was. But I hated them for making you feel so small and I hated the whole_ village ** _,_ ** _just because we were ninja, because we had to kill so much and the world—gods, Sasuke, the whole world—was so corrupt._

_I don't know what happened . . . I don't know why I killed him, Sasuke. I loved Shisui, too, and he was one of the only ones I never turned any resentment on. But he said something about me being too busy for you now and I murdered him._

He is silent for three hours before Sasuke eventually prods him again.

_I murdered my best friend and I was so scared after that. They never found out, though, because I drowned him and they thought it must have been suicide._

_Father told me of a rebellion shortly after. He told me to pull out of ANBU and to help him kill the—the Sandaime Hokage. Then I really hated him. What would that do to_ you? _There was no way we could have possibly won._

_So I waited until the night came and I killed them. I would have happily killed the rest of the village, too, but you saw me and—I ran. I ran so far and so fast and tried to forget all about you but I_ couldn't _and it took me three times of being on the verge of death until I realized that I had to go back._

Sasuke waits for him to go on until he realizes that Itachi has finished, and now it is his turn to be silent. There is so much to take in and he is suddenly tired, so he tells Itachi this before unrolling his blankets and lying down:

_It's okay, I guess._

_ 7 _

 

He spends a lot of time with Itachi; in the past, when he would normally be strolling, he now talks with Itachi on the floor of the room they sleep in. When he would normally have been in the company of his partners, he mostly spends in silence cleaning out the Uchiha compound.

It is fulfilling.

Naruto and Sakura stop by one day and he does not come home for a week after that. He figures that he owes them both some time after all the avoiding that he has done.

 

_ 8 _

 

Nara Shikaku shows up at his house in the dead of night, when Sasuke is awake and Itachi has already gone to bed, and he _sees._ Then, Shikaku is gone and the heavy static is singing away full-force in Sasuke's head.

 

_ 9 _

 

Naruto and Sakura have not come to see him. Itachi has fled to gods-know-where and he has never felt so hollow in his entire life. So instead of sitting around, he goes to see Naruto and Sakura, and when they catch sight of him, they are on him with a flurry of words.

_Harboring a wanted criminal!_

_What if he'd killed you, too?_

_Sasuke—why?_

Perhaps the most hurtful of all:

_Why didn't you_ tell _us?_

Sasuke stops listening to them after that and goes home to pack before he can change his mind. He will look for Itachi, and he will _stay_ with Itachi, and he will never go where Itachi does not.

 

_ 10 _

 

Sasuke looks behind him at Naruto and Sakura, and at the whole village, and then he turns his back and walks away.

(Naruto is close to tears. Sakura is actually crying. Tsunade looks at him with a mixture of disgust and pity, and the rest of them—well, they look happy to have him gone. He is sad to leave Naruto and Sakura because he loves them so much, damn it, and he wants to curl up between them until he vanishes, but he can't. Not now. Not unless they follow him, too.)

He does not apologize.

**Author's Note:**

> comment = ill die for you


End file.
